Atlanta Braves Unlock Hidden Achievement: Sloppiest Inning

Look, a lot of stuff happened in Tuesday’s matchup between the Atlanta Braves and Los Angeles Angels but let’s cut the formalities and just dive into that weird, disgusting, sloppy hellhole of a third inning – batter by batter.

When Bartolo Colon took the hill to start the third inning, spirits were actually pretty high in Braves Country. Big Sexy had looked strong over his first two innings of work and the club had a two-run lead courtesy of a Matt Kemp homer.

Then…

• Juan Graterol hits a chopper up the middle. Dansby Swanson comes close to making a highlight reel play but it was ultimately a clean single. (Runner on first, no outs, no runs)
• Eric Young Jr. hits a slow, bouncing grounder to Swanson. He fields cleanly and tosses to Jace Peterson at second for the forceout. Peterson attempts to complete the double play but the fleet-footed Young Jr. beats the throw. Given the slowly hit ball and the speed of the batter, turning two would’ve been almost impossible. (Runner on first, one out, no runs)
• Kole Calhoun hits a broken-bat one-hopper to second. The ball would’ve been hit directly at the second baseman with a traditional defensive alignment but Atlanta was playing Calhoun to pull. Peterson ranges to his right and fields the ball cleanly as Swanson races to cover second. However, Peterson fumbles the ball as he attempts to exchange to his throwing hand. The play is rightfully ruled a fielding error. (Runners on first and second, one out, no runs)
• Albert Pujols unloads on a picturesque homer to left, reminding the crowd that, though teammate Mike Trout is currently the best player in baseball, he’s still got something left in the tank. (Bases empty, one out, three runs)
• Luis Valbuena rips a single past first baseman Matt Adams. As was the case with the leadoff man, perhaps a play could’ve been made but it would’ve been spectacular. (Runner on first, one out, three runs)
• Andrelton Simmons hits a chopper to short. Swanson charges in on the ball with his only play being to catch Simmons at first. Unfortunately, he fails to even get a glove on the ball as it short hops him and rolls into left field. Valbuena is able to race around to third; Simmons makes it to second. (Runners on second and third, one out, three runs)
• Ben Revere hits the ball as hard as he can, grounding weakly to first base. With the infield in, Adams fields the ball and looks to gun down Valbuena who had made a bold break for the plate. As Adams goes to transfer the ball, Valbuena pulls up about 10-15 feet short of the plate as if to admit defeat and get caught in a rundown. However, in Peterson-esque fashion, Adams cannot make a clean exchange, Valbuena is able to scuttle across the plate, and the runner reaches safely at first. The play was mercifully scored as a fielder’s choice though I doubt Adams made a conscious decision to field the ball then fail to make a throw as all runners advanced safely. (Runners on the corners, one out, four runs)
• Cliff Pennington hits a routine grounder back to the pitcher. Colon fields and turns to initiate the double play. Revere had been running on the pitch though and is already to second by the time Bartolo has a chance to throw. Because of this, he merely pumps to second but this is enough for Simmons to break for the plate. Colon recognizes this in time to make a play. Unfortunately, his cleat gets caught on the mound as he pivots from making a play at second to making a play at home. He gathers himself and still makes a respectable throw but it’s too late and Simmons streaks across the plate. This, too, is (somewhat more understandably) scored a fielder’s choice. (Runners on first and second, one out, five runs)
• Danny Espinosa hits the cleanest ball of the inning (Pujols’ homer notwithstanding). It falls for a hit in the right-center gap. Ender Inciarte fields it normally as the runners advance. Revere comes around to score, Pennington races to third. (Runners on the corners, one out, six runs)
• Juan Graterol grounds weakly to Colon. He fields the ball, whirls around to start a double play, and uncorks an errant throw both behind Peterson and at his feet. The balls rolls in to center and all runners advance. Pennington scores. (Runners on the corners, one out, seven runs)
• Eric Young Jr. delivers a perfectly placed bunt down the first base line. Adams fields and tosses to Peterson but it’s not in time. All runners advance; the play is rightfully scored a single. (Runners on first and second, one out, eight runs)
• Kole Calhoun hits a ball to the left side of second base. It would have been a routine grounder (if not a tailor-made double play) had Swanson been playing in his normal position. However, the team had again played Calhoun to pull and the ball went into the left-center gap for a clean single. Gaterol races around to score. Colon is lifted for reliever Luke Jackson. (Runners on first and second, one out, nine runs)
• Albert Pujols walks to load the bases. (Bases loaded, one out, nine runs)
• Luis Valbuena drills a liner to second base. Peterson snags it and doubles off Calhoun at second. (Bases empty, three outs, nine runs)

14 batters, five singles, one homerun, one walk, three errors, two (dubious) fielder’s choices, and nine runs.

Given how poorly they played for the majority of the inning, Atlanta is lucky the damage wasn’t worse. It took a bases loaded, line drive double play to retire the side on the FOURTEENTH batter of the inning.

Suffice it to say, Atlanta lost the game. Watch the highlights, or don’t, it wasn’t pretty.

Next: Players Who Haven't Had a Chance to Disappoint Us Yet

The teams probably play tomorrow. It’s probably late on account of how on the west coast Anaheim is. If you’re lucky, one of the inevitable homers allowed by Braves pitchers will be the 600th of Pujols’ career.